Here, There and Here Again
It’s hard to put a date on when my journey in Korea began. I
have always had the privilege to know and interacted with people from all over
the world. Growing up at various YMCA camps, hosting internationals in our home
and attending diverse churches, we have always been blessed to know and build
relationships with a variety of people. During and after high school I was
involved in a few short-term mission trips. In my college years I really went
out of my comfort zone and out of the country for a longer period of time.
By the end of my junior year I was
doing all I could to make an internship in South Korea work. The obstacles to
this internship came one after the other. First Edinboro University denied
permission for the internship, and then I was hired for a job that seemed just
right for my living and financial needs. My job was at an international high
school dorm as a Resident Assistant (RA) and Cook and it was perfect. Through a
process that only God could have orchestrated, my position at the dorm was
terminated. Edinboro actually consented to my final internship request, making
me the universities first international intern! I was devastated at being let go
from work, until I realized that it would never have worked to do a summer
internship if I was working at the dorm. Through these circumstances and more
God helped me to keep my commitment to friends in Korea and blessed me with
being able to get college credit for a great internship.
My three-month internship was
incredible, I was challenged in so many ways and forced to depend on God and
trust him more. It was also a time of relationship building, learning about
Korea and discovering what the Institute of Light Finders (청소년과 놀이문화 연구소) really was. The Institute of Light Finders feed me spirit,
mind and body. I agreed and understood more of the vision and mission than I
ever expected to. I loved how it was a place for people to be themselves, to
work together and to build Gods Kingdom in a meaningful and unique way.
My study with the Institute of Light
Finders (ILF) and its work has helped me better understand the Korean people
and myself. Beyond the life lessons and challenging experiences I think the
most important thing that happened during my internship was towards the end. I
was taking the bus to the office and God spoke to my heart three specific
things. 1) Your life is meant to combine missions and camping. It was so
obvious but yet so brilliant and right! For years I had felt a strong pull and
desire to serve as a missionary. At the same time God always brought me back to
camp and has built a love and a passion for nature and all that camping has to
offer. For years I had asked God where he wanted me to go, what he wanted me to
do, I have hoped he would put a burden on my heart for a specific place or
people group. The call to missions through the tool of camping has given me the
beginnings of an answer but I still was left wondering where and how until God
helped me see that I am to combine my life of camp with my calling to missions.
In my thinking at the time, Korea was good for a season, maybe a place to come back to, but not for the
long term. So I was still hoping God would point me to where he wanted me to
be, and that is when God said... 2) You are called to many places. Looking
back, this is also a no brainier, especially if you look at prophesies and
words spoken over my life. Many people have mentioned how God planned on
bringing me to peoples and nations (plural). My final question for God that
morning was what now, what is the next step? 3) Make the most of the resources
you have. God wanted me to get more camp experience, to work at various camps
and gather as much material as possible for the years ahead. All this common
since and revelation got my blood pumping and was so clearly right and Gods
leading in my life that I doubt if I will ever forget those moments on the bus
that morning.
After my internship, I was blessed
to to graduate at the end of the next semester. Everything lined up for me to
take a position at Camp Fitch as an Outdoor Educator right after graduation and
my season of working and collecting resources began. When summer came around I
was off to Camp Tecumseh in Indiana for a summer of adventures and challenges.
My summer at Tecumseh had me all over the East coast with adventure campers as
well as in three different villages at the camp itself. Ending my time at
Tecumseh, I headed up and over to Ely Minnesota and camp duNord for yet another
few months of camp experience and a variety of positions and jobs. I cannot and
don't want to take credit for all my experiences and growth during this
incredible year of travel and camp. God so clearly was directing me and
providing opportunities to see camp at work from many angles and many
perspectives. At all of these camps I
was challenged to be a leader, to do more, to create, to love my campers and to
serve. When I was getting ready to return home another confirmation and
encouragement welcomed me.
The whole summer was in a way
following my parents steps, reaping the blessings for work they had done, for
ground they had softened and prepared and that is when I felt the confirming
call to return to Korea. I felt God was moving me to take a step beyond my
father by welcoming the chance to live and serve in another country. It just so
happened the door to Korea was yet wide open! A few key ILF workers where
persistently encouraging me to come back. It took a while for me to confirm my
decision because I did not want to go back on my word but in the end it was an
easy choice. I was excited about this new challenge of calling Korea home and
felt my time there would be full and good.
I was attracted to Korea for a
number of reasons; I knew many people there, when I spoke with the staff and
people I would be working with I was energized and excited, ILFs vision was for
all of East Asia and it seemed to me that South Korea would be a great
launching point for ministries to other countries and places. Besides all that,
I really did
trust and believe in what ILF was doing and working towards. My personal life
vision and mission has been clarified and refined thanks to the vision and
mission of ILF. Ultimately I came to Korea, because I felt Gods leading and
directing me there.
What is once easy may not stay that
way!! The choice remained easy and the process smooth, but myself and all of
ILF will agree this past year has been unbelievably hard for everyone! Many
times throughout this past year I have found myself muttering several times,
"I cant do this", "its too hard", "its pointless"
etc. However, with all the hard, uncomfortable, unpleasant, difficult moments,
days and weeks, God has also given strength, grace, love and trust when It was
needed. Only a few months into my time in Korea the Founder and Director of ILF
Kuk, told me one year was not long enough. With those words and that hope for
me to stay, my heart dropped, I had no desire to stay and would be happy to
just survive through the year. From that point on I have not wanted to stay any
longer and often found myself arguing and separating from God. Deep down I knew
that I had given my life to Gods service and that if it was his desire, I would
stay, but I didn't want to hear him say it and thus didn't give him many
opportunities to speak. As I should have guessed this was not really a good
plan and only made life harder! Ultimately, I simply had to give it up, run to
my cleft in the rock and remember to do so again and again. During this time of
struggle, I made a list of what I felt would need to happen for me to stay
longer. My hope was not for this list to get checked off, rather in hopes of
creating some barriers between myself and staying in Korea longer. This list
included: 1) I will be satisfactorily comfortable with my ability to speak the
Korean language 2) All of my co-workers, unbidden will seriously ask my to stay
3) My financial support will not come from ILF 4) My VISA would be extended
5) I would get an International Drivers License 6) I would need to learning to
drive a Standard and 7) I will be home for the Holidays. To make a long story
short, to my chagrin, all these items listed and more have been touched upon!
Now that I think about it I almost added meeting my future husband, but decided
not to after all that’s too important to rush.
Almost directly after making this list all my co-workers, for the first
time or one of many times asked me to stay. One item checked off, they asked
knowing it would be hard, hard for them, their families and myself. In regards
to learning Korean a number of things happened that have pushed me to study and
learn more. Such as texts books from a language university being given to me as
well as a teacher from the same university offering to give me lessons once a
week for free. After that two high school students volunteered to giving me
lessons once or twice a week and their is a great on-line program that has and
will continue to help me improve my Korean. I should also mention much of this
was prayed and pushed into existence by Ki one of my co-workers.
I currently do not have a clear
means of financial support, but was amazed by the change in attitude and
feeling among the staff here toward accepting my proposal to raise money and
become even more of a tent maker and a co-worker for Gods Kingdom. They went
from hesitant and feeling responsible for my living at the beginning of this
year to joyous and excited about the coming year and our future work together.
Being able to work and serve alongside ILF without being a financial burden
weighs heavy on my heart. We are all learning how God can and sometimes chooses
to provide for us in amazing ways. I do believe it’s the best way and if God wants me here he will help
provide the money I need. My desire is not to go from burdening some to
burdening others, but rather to trust God month by month and day by day to
provide my needs. I don't want to be distracted from what God would have me do
by being concerned and anxious about my living. My home church New Beginnings
has agreed to be my in-between for money each month and my missionary sending
agents. Hopefully my visit to the States will prove successful for raising the
money I need.
My stay at home covers over Halloween, my birthday, Thanksgiving,
Christmas and the New Year and it is the most holidayish time I can think of!
Recently, I discovered getting an International License is way easy and my hope
is somebody in the states will offer to help me learn to drive standard. As an
added bonus, my dream and plan was that if I stayed in Korea longer I would buy
a nice bike for travel and recreation. While in Korea I made my purchase and
have found the bike fun as well as indispensable! Ultimately I have eventually
had to face the reality that God very probably has another year in Korea as
part of his plan for me and I had to determine just what I was going to do
about it. I delayed making any decision in the hope that something would
change, that I would have another path to walk down or even that God would
change my heart and help me miraculous want to stay. Eventually I spent an
overnight on the mountain to fast, pray and get peace about making my staying
in Korea official in my mind and in the minds of my co-workers. What gives me
hope through all this is how my dislike of staying in Korea is fading and while
I still have doubts at times I have trust and faith that My heart will be here
and in the work that is here for me to do in the coming months. I do believe this
next year holds great potential and God desires to use me. He wants to take my
experiences, my gifts and my weaknesses and use them for his kingdom and his
glory. Exactly what I do and will do is simple, yet complicated.
Part of my job is to be a dreamer, an idea bank and all
around resource for my coworkers and anyone else that is looking for ideas and
information. For the coming months, I feel a strong desire/calling to build
relationships and help people to understand why ILF does what it does. I hope
to take all opportunities to bring Jesus into focus, to help people see him
more clearly and know his love and his character at deeper levels. At times
these "jobs" feel abstract and are hard to measure. I am glad to say
the concrete side of my work also exists!
This past summer, I prepared and delivered two camp
programs of my own and was a counselor for the annual “Sharing Camp”. Throughout the year I have
been a co-director of our year-round nature school as well as getting a
completely new after school Nature Discovery program up and running. Those are
the major accomplishments outlined but really its the details that make things
worth it, its the campers faces and the little meaningful moments that are life
changing. Its these moments that help me know my time has been useful and well
spent.
More and more I can see how this
situation is ideal for what God has planned for me and for Korea. As a
missionary I have programs and opportunities already being laid out and ready
for me to help with such as summer and winter camp, nature school and the
nature discovery program. At ILF we already have a growing network and many
opportunities to train, guide and love young people as well as those who work with young
people. We are looking at two places specifically that ILF has the potential to
reach out to, Malaysia and Israel. Our partners in Israel are looking to start
an annual camp program that brings people together and bridges cultural
barriers. They have invited us to come help them each year develop an Asian(Community/Family
Focused) style camp program. In Malaysia their is a network of missionary
pastors who are interested in camping and plan on hosting a seminar on Camping
as a tool for effective ministry. Along with these great potential
opportunities I feel that God has another big job for me this coming year.
This is the year to really focus on
making connections, building relationships and developing as well as
strengthening partnerships. God wants me to take every opportunity to talk
about him and his work here in Korea and through camping. To be an active
bridge builder, to support people and camp programs in any way I can, to
connect with other missionaries, to educate and inform people about this tool
and to help them take action. Starting a camp program is not exactly easy. And it
is practically impossible if nobody has had camp experience. It takes time and
energy to develop a strong staff and support system, and then it takes some
basic ability to create and give campers a fun and meaningful experience. Fun,
Community and Nature are basic camp pillars but Camp is so much more and has
the potential to do so much good if given the chance!
The timing for my departure and for
my return are too perfect for it to be coincidence and this helps me to trust
Gods plan even more and his ability to work in and through all the details to
bring me home and back to Korea for the work he has prepared for me here and
around the world. Thank you for taking the time to read about this journey that
God has me on. I will always be grateful for your prayer and would love to talk more about my work
here in detail if you would like to hear.
